29 Things I've Learned By 29

Lessons learned from an introvert taking it day by day & protecting her peace cues 20 Something by SZA

Feb 20, 2025

By the time I finish writing this, it will be 30 days away from my 30th birthday. I published my first article last year on Substack a month into being 29, and coincidentally, it was all about aging and how life is just beginning around this age. I re-read that article the other day, and it felt like opening a time capsule. It made me laugh, and it gave me some comfort about reaching yet another big age. Writing on here has been cathartic in a way, and it helps me sort through all my uncomfortable thoughts. It got me thinking about all the things I learned throughout my 20s. I can’t believe that I’ll be turning 30. I thought 29 was big, but 30 just sounds like a whole new ball game. 30 is thee adult age. I just started feeling like an adult last year, and now I have to start telling people I’m... 30. In all seriousness, though, I’m low-key panicking, and I feel like there‘s nothing to celebrate. But the reality is that this is just a new decade, and honestly, I know a lot more than I did at 20.

I read somewhere that by the time you’re 30, you’ve only had about 9 real years of being an adult, and I think that’s true. From the time you’re born up until 19 you are still a baby. You’re most likely just getting away from your parents and making choices on your own. You’re coming into adulthood around 19/20. And in between 20 and 29, that’s where all of your real adult experiences happen (most likely). So, in honor of me about to enter a new decade, I thought I’d recap some of the lessons I’ve learned in these last 9 years. Before I list them out, here’s a little tidbit: I find numerology interesting, and another coincidence is that the number 9 symbolizes the completion of a cycle and rebirth. So, cheers to the rebirth and to anyone else tackling new beginnings.

You can spend your time looking at everyone else’s life OR you can focus on making your life as good as it can be.
You’re beautiful right now as you are, so enjoy it because one day you won’t look exactly the same and you’ll be reminiscing about how you used to look.
Just because you are kind and have good intentions for people doesn’t mean that everyone else moves the same way.
Dwelling on the past does nothing. It doesn’t matter anymore just move forward.
Exercise actually does help your mental health.
Take pictures of yourself and document your life. You will never experience being the same age ever again, and you’ll be happy you have photos to look back on.
Photo taken mid-air in NYC coming back from my first work trip
You have your own unique personality. You’ll never be the loudest person in the room, and that’s okay. You’re enough just being who you are.
When you get your first job, don’t forget to save money from each paycheck.
Everyone has their own trauma BUT that is never an excuse for someone to mistreat you.
Leave that man after the first red flag - He will NOT change, and it won’t get better.
Seeking external validation is a dangerous game. Learn to validate yourself first.
All you have is the present moment; that’s it. You don’t have anything else.
Time is going to pass regardless of what you decide to do.
You’re opinion is valuable and your voice matters.
Find hobbies and cultivate them. You can romanticize your life with the more hobbies you try.
Making flower arrangements have become one of my favorite hobbies & this was one of my favs to make
Pinterest is the only social media app that doesn’t breed comparison. Make a mood board or two to relax your mind. It helps.
Find a daily mantra and say that every time you feel a negative emotion. Mine is: “All is well. Everything is working out for your highest good. Out of this situation, only good will come. I am safe.”
Trust must be EARNED. People present their best selves when you first meet them, so don’t give your trust away. Watch how people move and then make an informed decision on if they are trustworthy or not.
Sing the lyrics of the love songs to yourself because you are the love of your life.
Everyone on this planet, no matter who they are, has problems. It’s how you navigate the problems that matters.
You are NOT responsible for anybody’s emotions. You are ONLY responsible for your own.
If a man ever tells you he just wants to “go with the flow,” leave immediately.
Be intentional about taking yourself on solo dates.
Seeing movies solo is a top-tier experience
Focus on the things you can control.
Your intuition is right, and learning how to trust it will save you so much time.
Other people’s actions are a reflection of how that person feels about themselves.
Your energy is precious. Be cautious about who and what you give it to.
You deserve peace and stability, and you have to get rid of people and things that disrupt that.
Just do it. This applies to anything. Don’t do too much planning; don’t read too many books about the thing you want to do. Just do it! Seriously, I’ve wasted a lot of time in the planning phase of so many things. You will learn as you go.